A casual “who knows” can make a conversation feel awkward, especially in a text, DM, or group chat. For 25 Funny Responses to Who Knows (With Examples), use humor to keep your chat playful.
When texting friends, a crush, or a group DM, this phrase may show uncertainty, mystery, or attitude. A mysterious, playful, frustrating, or cute reply may mean they are dodging the question or simply vibing. While replying, humor, sarcasm, and flirty energy can instantly upgrade the conversation game instead of leaving the chat in silence. The best funny responses match the mood and make you sound clever, confident, and relatable.
A witty comeback can change a boring reply into a fun conversation starter without feeling forced. A playful reply can keep the tone light, while a flirty response works well with a crush. For pure chaos, a hilarious or sarcastic line can create curiosity and encourage interaction. With an unknown number, “Who is this?” can get a funny answer that breaks the ice instead of sounding dull or like a robotic answer. Whether you are talking to a friend or complete stranger, the right response can make chats more engaging and show your personality.
1. “Apparently, Not You!”
Sometimes the easiest way to make “Who knows?” funny is to point out that the person saying it clearly doesn’t know either. “Apparently, not you!” works especially well with close friends because it creates a playful little challenge without sounding genuinely insulting. Imagine your friend confidently guessing what will happen next and then suddenly saying, “Who knows?” You can throw this response back with a laugh. It turns uncertainty into friendly teasing and gives the conversation somewhere to go instead of letting it end awkwardly.
Meaning: You’re joking that they obviously don’t have the answer.
Tone: Playful, teasing, and sarcastic.
Example: “Who knows if he’ll actually show up?” — “Apparently, not you!”
Best use: Use it with friends or people who understand your humor.
2. “The Mystery Department Knows.”
This response makes “Who knows?” sound like there’s an imaginary government department responsible for solving every mystery. It’s funny because you’re treating an ordinary question like an official investigation. You could say it when nobody knows what’s going to happen, where something disappeared, or why someone suddenly changed plans. The exaggerated seriousness makes the response more entertaining. It also works well in group chats because other people can easily build on the joke and pretend they’re contacting the “Mystery Department” for classified information.
Meaning: You’re joking that some mysterious authority must know.
Tone: Absurd, playful, and imaginative.
Example: “Who knows where my charger went?” — “The Mystery Department knows.”
Best use: Great for casual conversations and group chats.
3. “Probably the Person Who Knows.”
Sometimes the funniest comeback is deliberately obvious. “Probably the person who knows” takes the question literally and gives an intentionally useless answer. That’s exactly what makes it funny. It works particularly well when someone says “Who knows?” after discussing something completely uncertain. Instead of trying to solve the mystery, you simply point out that whoever knows would, technically, know. The response is harmless, easy to understand, and works without needing a complicated joke.
Meaning: A deliberately literal answer to an uncertain question.
Tone: Dry, witty, and sarcastic.
Example: “Who knows what she’s planning?” — “Probably the person who knows.”
Best use: Use it when you want subtle humor rather than a big joke.
4. “Let Me Ask the Internet.”
When nobody has an answer, “Let me ask the internet” is an easy modern comeback. It humorously suggests that the internet has an answer for absolutely everything. You can use this response when someone says “Who knows?” about something that could theoretically be searched. The joke becomes even better when the question is something random or impossible to verify. It keeps the conversation light while acknowledging that neither person has the answer.
Meaning: You’re joking about using the internet as an all-knowing source.
Tone: Casual, modern, and playful.
Example: “Who knows why he disappeared?” — “Let me ask the internet.”
Best use: Perfect for texting, social media, and casual chats.
5. “Not Me, I’m Just Here for the Snacks.”
This comeback completely abandons the original question and makes the conversation about snacks instead. That unexpected change is what gives it its humor. If someone says “Who knows?” during a long conversation, you can respond as though you never intended to participate in solving the mystery anyway. It’s especially funny among friends because it creates a relaxed, unserious atmosphere. The line can also be customized with coffee, pizza, dessert, or whatever fits the situation.
Meaning: You’re joking that you’re not interested in solving the problem.
Tone: Silly, relaxed, and humorous.
Example: “Who knows what happens next?” — “Not me, I’m just here for the snacks.”
Best use: Great for friends, parties, and group conversations.
6. “The Plot Knows.”
This is a fun response when you’re talking about future events, relationships, plans, or unpredictable situations. Saying “The plot knows” makes everyday life sound like a movie or television series where the audience has to wait for the next episode. It’s particularly effective when something has become unnecessarily complicated. Instead of pretending you can predict the outcome, you humorously blame “the plot” for keeping everyone in suspense.
Meaning: The future will reveal what happens.
Tone: Dramatic, witty, and playful.
Example: “Do you think they’ll get back together?” — “Who knows?” — “The plot knows.”
Best use: Great for conversations about drama, relationships, or uncertain plans.
7. “My Crystal Ball Is on Vacation.”
If someone asks you to predict something and then says “Who knows?”, this response adds a ridiculous imaginary explanation. Your crystal ball could be on vacation, broken, charging, or simply refusing to cooperate. The humor comes from pretending you have supernatural prediction abilities in the first place. It works well when discussing weather, plans, relationships, sports, or anything else where the outcome isn’t certain.
Meaning: You’re joking that you can’t predict the future.
Tone: Lighthearted, dramatic, and silly.
Example: “Who knows if they’ll accept the offer?” — “My crystal ball is on vacation.”
Best use: Use it for playful predictions and uncertain situations.
8. “Ask Me Again in Five Business Days.”
This response turns a simple unknown into a fake corporate waiting period. It’s funny because there’s no reason an answer should require five business days. You can use it when someone asks about future plans, decisions, results, or anything still undecided. The corporate language makes the response sound unnecessarily official, which adds another layer of humor.
Meaning: You don’t know yet and need more time.
Tone: Sarcastic, professional-sounding, and funny.
Example: “Who knows when he’ll reply?” — “Ask me again in five business days.”
Best use: Perfect for coworkers, friends, and workplace-style jokes.
9. “That’s Above My Pay Grade.”
This classic workplace joke works surprisingly well outside the office too. When someone says “Who knows?”, replying “That’s above my pay grade” pretends that the answer is the responsibility of someone more important. It’s especially funny when you obviously have no connection to the issue. The response is short enough for texting and recognizable enough that most people immediately understand the joke.
Meaning: You’re humorously claiming the issue isn’t your responsibility.
Tone: Dry, sarcastic, and casual.
Example: “Who knows when they’ll fix it?” — “That’s above my pay grade.”
Best use: Great for work conversations and friendly banter.
10. “Definitely Someone With Better Information.”
Instead of trying to answer “Who knows?”, this response admits that someone else probably has the information. The funny part is the exaggerated contrast between you and this imaginary knowledgeable person. It’s useful when you want to be humorous without becoming too sarcastic. You can also modify it to fit the situation, such as “someone with the secret file” or “someone who actually reads the instructions.”
Meaning: Someone else probably has the answer.
Tone: Witty, self-deprecating, and friendly.
Example: “Who knows what the boss decided?” — “Definitely someone with better information.”
Best use: Good for casual workplace or group conversations.
11. “Probably the Group Chat.”
Group chats have a reputation for knowing everything eventually, so blaming the group chat makes an easy joke. If someone asks a question and nobody has an answer, you can pretend that the group chat has secretly been keeping the information from everyone. It’s especially effective when several friends are already involved in the conversation. The response can also encourage someone to actually check previous messages.
Meaning: You’re joking that the information is hidden somewhere in the chat.
Tone: Casual, relatable, and playful.
Example: “Who knows where we’re meeting?” — “Probably the group chat.”
Best use: Excellent for texting and social conversations.
12. “I’ll Consult the Ancient Scrolls.”
This comeback gives an ordinary question an unnecessarily epic treatment. Instead of saying you don’t know, you pretend the answer is hidden in ancient documents that require serious investigation. The contrast between the dramatic wording and the simple situation makes it funny. You can make the joke even more exaggerated by saying you need candles, a map, or a translator before beginning the investigation.
Meaning: You’re joking that finding the answer requires serious research.
Tone: Dramatic, ridiculous, and imaginative.
Example: “Who knows what happened?” — “I’ll consult the ancient scrolls.”
Best use: Great for friends who enjoy exaggerated humor.
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13. “Your Guess Is as Good as Mine.”
This familiar phrase becomes funny when delivered with exaggerated confidence. It acknowledges that you’re just as uncertain as the other person. You can use it when neither of you has enough information to make a reliable prediction. The line is especially useful because it doesn’t sound rude or dismissive while still keeping the exchange casual.
Meaning: You’re just as uncertain as the other person.
Tone: Friendly, relaxed, and mildly humorous.
Example: “Who knows whether this plan will work?” — “Your guess is as good as mine.”
Best use: Use it when you want humor without excessive sarcasm.
14. “Probably the Universe.”
Blaming the universe for an unknown answer is simple but surprisingly effective. It makes uncertainty sound mysterious and philosophical without taking the conversation too seriously. You can use it when discussing unexpected events, strange coincidences, or plans that keep changing. The response also works well because it doesn’t attack the person asking the question.
Meaning: The answer is unknowable for now.
Tone: Playful, mysterious, and relaxed.
Example: “Who knows why everything went wrong?” — “Probably the universe.”
Best use: Good for casual conversations and harmless jokes.
15. “Nobody Knows, and I’m Nobody.”
This is a deliberately ridiculous way to respond to “Who knows?”. The joke depends on taking the phrase literally and then using wordplay to make yourself part of the answer. It works best when delivered confidently, as though you’ve just made an important discovery. Friends may laugh because the logic is technically circular but completely useless.
Meaning: You’re joking that you certainly don’t know.
Tone: Clever, silly, and sarcastic.
Example: “Who knows what happens next?” — “Nobody knows, and I’m nobody.”
Best use: Great for close friends and playful texting.
16. “The FBI, Probably.”
When something seems mysterious, pretending that the FBI knows the answer adds unnecessary seriousness to the situation. Of course, you’re not actually suggesting that law enforcement is involved. The humor comes from making a normal mystery sound like a major investigation. You can swap “FBI” for another imaginary investigative authority depending on the conversation.
Meaning: You’re exaggerating how mysterious the situation is.
Tone: Dramatic, exaggerated, and playful.
Example: “Who knows where he went?” — “The FBI, probably.”
Best use: Use it only in clearly harmless, joking situations.
17. “Let’s Pretend I Do.”
Sometimes confidence is funnier than accuracy. “Let’s pretend I do” admits that you don’t know while temporarily acting like you have all the answers. It can turn an uncertain conversation into playful improvisation. If the other person asks a follow-up question, you can continue the joke with an obviously ridiculous explanation.
Meaning: You don’t know, but you’re willing to play along.
Tone: Playful, confident, and humorous.
Example: “Who knows why she changed her mind?” — “Let’s pretend I do.”
Best use: Great when you want to keep the conversation going.
18. “My Sources Are Still Loading.”
This response combines uncertainty with modern technology humor. Instead of admitting that you have no information, you pretend your imaginary sources are buffering. It works particularly well over text because people are familiar with websites, videos, and apps that take forever to load. The phrase also gives you an easy opportunity to continue the joke later by saying, “Still loading” when someone asks again.
Meaning: You’re joking that the information hasn’t arrived yet.
Tone: Modern, witty, and casual.
Example: “Who knows what time they’re coming?” — “My sources are still loading.”
Best use: Perfect for texting and online conversations.
19. “I’d Tell You, But Then I’d Have to Know.”
This response uses circular logic to create a clever comeback. The joke is that you can’t reveal information you don’t possess. It works especially well when someone keeps expecting you to know something simply because you’re involved in the conversation. The line stays humorous without becoming aggressive, making it a useful response when you want to dodge a question playfully.
Meaning: You can’t provide an answer because you don’t know it yourself.
Tone: Clever, dry, and sarcastic.
Example: “Who knows what’s happening tomorrow?” — “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to know.”
Best use: Good for friends and casual conversations.
20. “Ask the Magic 8-Ball.”
The Magic 8-Ball is practically designed for questions with uncertain answers, which makes it a natural funny response. Instead of taking responsibility for predicting the outcome, you transfer the decision to an imaginary fortune-telling toy. This works particularly well for silly questions where nobody expects a serious answer. It can also lead to more jokes if you pretend the Magic 8-Ball gave an extremely dramatic prediction.
Meaning: You’re joking about using a random source to predict the answer.
Tone: Nostalgic, playful, and silly.
Example: “Who knows if we’ll win?” — “Ask the Magic 8-Ball.”
Best use: Great for casual banter and lighthearted predictions.
21. “Somebody’s Auntie Knows.”
This response is funny because it invokes the mysterious person who somehow seems to know everything. In many conversations, there’s always someone’s auntie, uncle, neighbor, or friend who supposedly has the latest information. The phrase exaggerates that familiar social phenomenon. You can replace “auntie” with another person that fits your group’s humor.
Meaning: Someone mysterious probably has the answer.
Tone: Playful, relatable, and teasing.
Example: “Who knows what happened?” — “Somebody’s auntie knows.”
Best use: Best among friends who enjoy family-related jokes.
22. “We’ll Find Out in the Next Episode.”
This comeback turns real life into a television series. It’s especially effective when discussing relationship drama, upcoming events, unanswered questions, or ongoing situations. Rather than predicting what will happen, you jokingly suggest that everyone needs to wait for the next episode. It can make an otherwise boring “Who knows?” exchange feel much more entertaining.
Meaning: The answer will become clear later.
Tone: Dramatic, playful, and entertaining.
Example: “Who knows whether they’ll actually go?” — “We’ll find out in the next episode.”
Best use: Excellent for ongoing stories and friend-group drama.
23. “The Answer Is Classified.”
Calling an unknown answer “classified” makes it sound like you possess secret information but aren’t allowed to share it. The joke works because the situation usually has nothing to do with national security. You can make it even funnier by pretending to zip your lips or saying that clearance is required. It’s a playful way to avoid giving a serious answer.
Meaning: You’re pretending the answer is a secret.
Tone: Secretive, dramatic, and funny.
Example: “Who knows what she bought?” — “The answer is classified.”
Best use: Use it for harmless mysteries and playful conversations.
24. “That’s a Tomorrow Problem.”
This response works when the answer genuinely doesn’t matter right now. By calling it “a tomorrow problem,” you humorously postpone the mystery instead of trying to solve it. It’s particularly relatable when everyone is tired, plans are uncertain, or a decision can wait. The phrase creates a laid-back attitude and can quickly lighten a stressful conversation.
Meaning: You’re choosing not to worry about the unknown yet.
Tone: Relaxed, funny, and slightly sarcastic.
Example: “Who knows how we’ll finish all this?” — “That’s a tomorrow problem.”
Best use: Great for friends, coworkers, and end-of-day conversations.
25. “Who Cares? Let’s Get Food.”
Sometimes the funniest answer is to abandon the mystery entirely. “Who cares? Let’s get food” redirects the conversation toward something much more enjoyable. It works particularly well when the original topic has become unnecessarily complicated or when everyone is overthinking a situation. You can replace “food” with coffee, ice cream, a movie, or whatever activity fits the moment.
Meaning: You’re choosing fun over worrying about an unknown answer.
Tone: Carefree, humorous, and friendly.
Example: “Who knows what happens next?” — “Who cares? Let’s get food.”
Best use: Perfect for friends when you want to change the subject playfully.
FAQs
What is a funny response to “Who knows?”
A funny response depends on the situation and your relationship with the person. Options like “Apparently, not you!”, “My crystal ball is on vacation,” or “The plot knows” can turn an uncertain moment into playful conversation.
How do you reply to “Who knows?” over text?
For texting, keep your comeback short and easy to understand. “Let me ask the internet,” “My sources are still loading,” and “Probably the group chat” work especially well because they fit naturally into casual messages.
Is “Who knows?” a rude response?
Not necessarily. “Who knows?” can simply mean that someone doesn’t have enough information to answer. However, tone and context matter. If it’s delivered dismissively, you may want to respond with light humor rather than sarcasm.
What is a sarcastic response to “Who knows?”
If you’re joking with someone who understands sarcasm, try “Apparently, not you!”, “That’s above my pay grade,” or “I’d tell you, but then I’d have to know.” Keep stronger sarcasm for people who are comfortable with that style of humor.
What is the best playful response to “Who knows?”
A versatile option is “My crystal ball is on vacation.” It’s funny, harmless, and works for many situations where the future is uncertain. If you want something more casual, “Probably the group chat” is another easy choice.
Conclusion
A simple “Who knows?” doesn’t have to end a conversation. With the right comeback, you can turn uncertainty into humor, playful teasing, or a memorable exchange. Whether you choose “The plot knows,” “My sources are still loading,” or “Who cares? Let’s get food,” the best response depends on the people involved and the mood of the conversation.
The key is to keep your response natural, lighthearted, and appropriate for the situation. When you match the comeback to the relationship and context, even a two-word phrase like “Who knows?” can become the beginning of a much funnier conversation.
